top of page

Taking Accountability





Let’s face it, we all have at one time or another… or still do… avoided taking accountability for our actions and words.


We say, “it’s not my job”, “it’s not my fault”, “everyone is doing the same thing and it’s the way our society is nowadays”, “stop being so sensitive”... Yes, even as adults, we say these things.


These are just excuses, and excuses are ways for us to avoid taking the responsibility of owning ourselves. It’s time we own what we do and say and take responsibility.


Okay, I know, you may say, “but it really isn’t my fault”... yeah I get what you are saying… I do… but I say, “yeah, it is your fault”....


Hold on, stay with me here…


Everything you do is you doing it,

Not someone else;

It's you…


Just like everything I do is me doing it.

If I say something hurtful or do anything that is going to be negative… Well, that's me that did that. I might say, “so and so antagonized me” or “I find it to be your actions that caused me to react the way I did.”


The truth is none of them had anything to do with it, so stop blaming and start owning.



How do you do that? Let’s go over a few suggestions:


Number One: OWN YOUR PART

Something happened, no matter whose fault you may think it is and now you have to explain yourself as to why you did or said what you did. You can blame someone else, but you are a part of this. So you need to take a step back….

Think about what happened… and look at what part you took in it.



Number Two: CAUSE AND EFFECT What does that mean? Well let’s break it down in simple terms. Because I did this, this happened: Let’s go over examples….


I failed to complete a job responsibility on time because I was too busy with another project and didn’t prioritize it and I put it off… Because of that I lost the account for my company.


I said some not so nice things to my loved one and now I put a barrier in between us and our relationship has suffered.


Sometimes the effect is good… for example I helped a friend move, and because of that I was able to spend time with them laughing and joking around, making good memories.


Just remember, something will happen with everything we do.

At times it will be positive and other times it won't be so positive.

So do things that have the positive outcomes and not the negative ones!


Number Three: SOLVE THE PROBLEM

When faced with something, we have choices we can make.

At times we will make mistakes, and that is okay as long as we recognize it and make the effort to learn from them.


We cannot avoid making mistakes because it is an innate human trait and one of the stepping stones to our spiritual growth and building our character, so don’t beat yourself up over it.


You can always turn a negative into a positive.


It is when you make mistakes and not own it, you start blaming others for your actions and words so let’s think about the choices you have to avoid the roblem to begin with.


Let’s go through an example…


We talked previously about taking your irritation out on your loved one when it was undeserving and out of line. Did you take a deep breath and explain to your loved one you are having a challenging day? Did you give them the opportunity to understand your mood at the time? Maybe you should have because that is better than lashing out negatively or blaming your loved one for your reaction to them.

You have the information within to explain to them your mood and letting them know ahead of time and making sure that your loved one is aware and can be maybe more empathetic or talk to you about your feelings.


So let’s solve the problem before it's a problem.


As humans, we will do things to avoid taking responsibility for our actions and words. Let’s face it, no one likes to be the one who looks bad or takes the responsibility that may put us in a negative light with others.


If we can own our part, and know that all actions have positive and negative outcomes and work to avoid the problem on the onset then we can take responsibility for our actions and words, and we stop blaming others and own it!


It's you doing what you do and no one else!


You will feel so much better about who you are and think about how you are being a role model for those around you.


Remember to be kind, give yourself grace and always, always love yourself!







bottom of page