A sensitive topic but one that too many experience is past hurts and traumas. How does one heal from them? How do you get beyond the pain? How do you deal with how it has molded you into who you are today and accepting yourself for who you are unconditionally? I’m going to be blunt and tell you, you can go back to the past but no-one is waiting for you there…
A sensitive topic but one that too many experience is past hurts and traumas. How does one heal from them? How do you get beyond the pain? How do you deal with how it has molded you into who you are today and accepting yourself for who you are unconditionally? I’m going to be blunt and tell you, you can go back to the past but no-one is waiting for you there…
First I want to welcome you back Adventurers and friends to Adventures Inward Let’s Talk Series! For those who are here for the first time, hello! Welcome! Thank you for joining us!
In this blog we will be talking about the false beliefs that prevent you from healing your past.
So get yourself comfy cozy, open your heart, open your mind and let’s get into it…
A few years ago, when people would start telling me how they had a happy childhood and they adored their parents and everything was great when they were growing up, my eyes used to start to glaze over. First off, I didn't believe them. My childhood at times was full of darkness, fear, shame, and loneliness. Those were the images I had to look at and though I knew not everyone had a childhood like mine, I didn't believe that kids could grow up with a loving family.
The real pain was that it took me many years to realize that my childhood was harming my chances for a happy life. Those memories were toxic to me and I had to find a way to neutralize their emotional acid in my system. When I finally understood this, it was a powerful change in how I viewed myself and my life. It helped lead me on an adventure to break free from my past. You might not even be aware of what's going on inside of you and how exactly your past is harming you. But it is. There are things you could be thinking or that you are doing that trap you in your past and how to change them.
Let’s go over some of the false beliefs that could be preventing you from healing your past:
1. You spend too much time reliving the past and feeling like a victim.
Yes, your parents or family members were bigger than you then but you're not a child anymore. You can say no now. As an adult, many men and women struggle with saying no, especially to people who are important in their lives. Saying no can be one of the most empowering actions you can take to get free of the past.
2. You still see yourself as someone with no power to change anything.
First off, you have infinite power to change yourself. And that's not a small thing; people who step up and take charge of their own lives change all kinds of things for the better. Taking just 3 minutes a day to visualize yourself changing, and being in charge of your life, will start to shift the results you are getting in your life.
3. You focus on the rules your parents enforced, even though many of them don't benefit you, are outdated, or simply just garbage.
It's okay that as a child you just adopted your family's beliefs. But now you are an adult. It's time to step back and ask yourself what rules are bogus and need to be kicked to the curb. When you start creating your own rules to live by, you'll feel a sense of freedom and wholeness that has been missing in life because you've stepped into your power as a creator.
4. You're still trying to make your family happy in hopes that someday they'll finally love you and say they are sorry things were so bad.
Stop waiting for others to apologize so you can feel good. Acknowledge that you hurt yourself, your partner, or your friend. And then acknowledge you have the power to change all of that now. You can forgive. Do you pay your own bills? Have your own job? Have a good credit rating? Then you don't need your family's approval for anything. You are in charge of your own life and you can decide today to start feeling good about yourself in spite of anything that happened.
5. You believe that you really are worthless because your family told you all the time and they must be right.
Are you seeing a pattern? I hope so. Some of you were surrounded by family who had a negative impact on your growing up, your parents did a poor job raising you. They were cruel, unkind, unloving, or downright mean. That's a fact but it's over. Get involved in mindfulness practices that will shift how you think and how your mind attaches to things. Meditation will allow you to increase your ability to feel at peace and to clear the past. Just 5 minutes a day is a great start and increases gradually over time. Make a solid decision that you are done with the past and you will be free and open to new things. Put rituals in place that help you cultivate forgiveness and gratitude every day.
My Final Thoughts
Your past happened. It is water under a bridge somewhere. Your future has yet to arrive but you are creating it every day by how you feel and deal with the present. Clearing out negative feelings from your past will set you up to increase the amount of success that shows up in your life in the form of great relationships. You don't have to repeat your family’s behaviors but you do have to deal with the nonsense and activate strategies that shift your brain and the memories of pain. You're much more powerful than you think so put that power into action for your own good today.
Remember to be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and always always love yourself.